Introduction: Trial Run

I appreciate double entendre; however, the double meaning of the title of this book was not intentional. In fact, until you see the rationale for this title, you might miss it.

My ex-husband and I were fortunate enough to avoid going to court because we made a choice to end our marriage with dignity. While this may sound simple, it was not. It was much less of a process than what I have witnessed friends experience. Their stories are much more painful and drawn out in many respects.

On July 10, 2009 I left a life-changing meeting at my spouse’s attorney’s office and drove the hour back to my home. There were tears and hugs prior to depart- ing. (Doesn’t sound terribly normal in terms of divorce, does it? Well, not to give too much away…that’s the idea!)

Since I had taken the whole day off work I decided to stop by the mall along the way. We had just signed our divorce papers and the attorneys were to file them that day. I needed some TLC even if I had to create it myself.

I had a manicure. Human touch, even in a simple thing like a hand massage and getting your nails done, goes a long way when dealing with the end of a relationship. As I watched the manicurist work, I thought about the truism that the left hand is for commitment and the right hand for individual expression. It occurred to me that it would be nice to buy a “right hand ring” for myself.

I wandered into several jewelry stores. No one seemed very interested in helping me until I found a family owned establishment, thinking it might be a better option. I was correct.

Daneene greeted me immediately. When she asked if I was looking for anything special, I explained that I was looking for a ring to commemorate my newfound independence and life. I expected words of sadness and consolation.

“That’s fantastic!” Daneene exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear. She raised her hand to give me a high-five and said, “I had a trial run, too.” As we talked, I learned that her first marriage ended after seven years, she had re-married a couple of years ago, and now could not be happier.

A trial run? Ok then, so my trial run lasted 17 years. When you try something, you hopefully learn a little bit more about yourself and the world. You get the lay of the land and figure out how things should look and work. “A trial run” – I liked it. It meant my future looked bright. I now knew what I wanted to feel in a relationship, if I were to be blessed with another. I knew how I wanted to give and how I wanted to live.

Daneene sold me a ring that July afternoon, but she also gave me encouragement, hope, and an expression that aptly became the title of this book.

Thanks Daneen.

I was looking for something special and got so much more!