Introduction: Trial Run

I appreciate double entendre; however, the double meaning of the title of this book was not intentional. In fact, until you see the rationale for this title, you might miss it.

My ex-husband and I were fortunate enough to avoid going to court because we made a choice to end our marriage with dignity. While this may sound simple, it was not. It was much less of a process than what I have witnessed friends experience. Their stories are much more painful and drawn out in many respects.

On July 10, 2009 I left a life-changing meeting at my spouse’s attorney’s office and drove the hour back to my home. There were tears and hugs prior to departing. (Doesn’t sound terribly normal in terms of divorce, does it? Well, not to give too much away…that’s the idea!)

Since I had taken the whole day off work I decided to stop by the mall along the way. We had just signed our divorce papers and the attorneys were to file them that day. I needed some TLC even if I had to create it myself.

I had a manicure. Human touch, even in a simple thing like a hand massage and getting your nails done, goes a long way when dealing with the end of a relationship. As I watched the manicurist work, I thought about the truism that the left hand is for commitment and the right hand for individual expression. It occurred to me that it would be nice to buy a “right hand ring” for myself.

I wandered into several jewelry stores. No one seemed very interested in helping me until I found a family owned establishment, thinking it might be a better option. I was correct.

Daneene greeted me immediately. When she asked if I was looking for anything special, I explained that I was looking for a ring to commemorate my newfound independence and life. I expected words of sadness and consolation.

“That’s fantastic!” Daneene exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear. She raised her hand to give me a high-five and said, “I had a trial run, too.” As we talked, I learned that her first marriage ended after seven years, she had re-married a couple of years ago, and now could not be happier.

A trial run? Ok then, so my trial run lasted 17 years. When you try something, you hopefully learn a little bit more about yourself and the world. You get the lay of the land and figure out how things should look and work. “A trial run” – I liked it. It meant my future looked bright. I now knew what I wanted to feel in a relationship, if I were to be blessed with another. I knew how I wanted to give and how I wanted to live.

Daneene sold me a ring that July afternoon, but she also gave me encouragement, hope, and an expression that aptly became the title of this book.

Thanks Daneen.

I was looking for something special and got so much more!